Parenting Through The Do’s and Don’ts of Divorce

The Do’s of Parenting During Divorce

Encourage the kids to speak about their feelings.
Tell your children that the divorce was not because of them.
When your kids are angry, understand where they are coming from. Fear, anger, and sadness are common feelings for kids dealing with divorce.
Explain what divorce means and tailor the message to their age and maturity.
Keep your kids updated on changes and events, including a move, activities, and visits with family members.
Continue to enforce rules that were in place before the split. It’s best to stay consistent, even if your spouse is not. A stable home environment is the goal.
Make time for your kids every day, even if it’s only a phone call.
Work with the other parent to protect the kids from the conflict.
For children who have a hard time adjusting, seek the help of a family therapist.

The Don’ts of Parenting During Divorce

Don't blame anyone for the divorce.
Don’t be negative; speak positively about your former spouse.
Never ask your child to take sides with you.
Don’t play games. Communicate with the other parent instead of asking your child to send messages.
Don’t stress out your child. Keep him or her protected from bad news they don’t need to hear.
Don’t treat your child like a friend; be a parent.
Don’t discourage your child from having a relationship with the other parent or step-parent.
Don’t over promise. Set realistic expectations for your kids that include spending time with them as much as possible.
Don’t underestimate the importance of “I love you.” Tell them every day.

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