Children Speak Out: How They Feel About Divorce

As you go through your divorce, be open with your children. This means talking to them about what’s happening, but it also means asking your kids how they feel and what they want out of their new family.

Some of the issues of divorce are too advanced for some children to understand, and there are some needs that are too advanced for a child to articulate.

The following 10 items are examples of what all kids want you to know, but may not be able to say to you.

1. We love and need both of you.

2. We are not your messengers. If you have something to say to my other parent, tell them yourself.

3. We know you are hurting, scared, and upset. So are we.

4. We know you are probably doing the best you can. So are we.

5. Please don’t say bad things about my other parent. It makes us feel really bad.

6. Please don’t ask us to choose sides. That’s not fair.

7. Don’t make us feel we are being disloyal because we enjoy being with our other parent.

8. This may not have been your choice, but remember, it is not our choice either.

9. Please don’t tell us details about the divorce that we don’t understand or need to know.

10. Please don’t make us the “man” or the “lady” of the house. We are just kids. Let us be kids!

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